Are you ready for a rousing good read? An entertaining commentary on the comic/fan/geek culture? A grand adventure through the world of geek that will stimulate your hearts (and groins) as you are immersed in the Pulitzer Prize worthy ramblings of one of Nerdoms elite?
Then I suggest you follow Mark Millar on twitter (now that guys a laugh in a half I tell yuh), because you will likely not receive such arousing entertainment in this article. However I can promise lots of fart jokes, indignant and uneducated rants, and a slightly creepy obsession with James Franco (A.K.A. The Greatest Actor to Ever Live).
So what’s on the plate today? Well so many things to talk about, the new Wonder Woman costume for the TV show has been unveiled, Charlie Sheens not any less crazy, Randy Quaid’s probably still being hunted down. Oh and also a lot of end of the world type shit going on in japan. But who pays attention to that? (For those wanting to hurt me after reading that, sarcasm was implied). But let’s leave that doomsday shit to Matt Lauer.
Well I guess I’ll just start this off by telling you good folks that I have read the first draft for the Wonder Woman television pilot (you can too, Google it up folks!).
Now I don’t want to get to preachy here, because 1. I’m not a big enough Wonder Woman fan to get pissed about this and 2. It’s the first draft for a television pilot that hasn’t even been made yet. But just let me say what pretty much everyone else has said: What the F**k?
So anyways, I’ll learn you all on the setting of the show, before I tell you what the hells gone sour. In this soon to be made TV show Wonder Woman has three identities, Diana Prince who owns her own big successful company that makes a vast array of wonder woman products. Her next identity is her own secretary. Yeah. I don’t get it either. And of course last but not least; Wonder Woman.
Towards the beginning of the script Diana is being shown prototypes for a new Wonder Woman doll and I shit you not she complains that the boobs on the doll, “aren’t big enough”. Then there’s a bunch of girly banter, Wonder Woman gets in a fight, yadda yadda yadda. And to put the cherry on top of this shit Sunday, at the end of the script she finds out her Ex is getting married and responds to the news by crying and drowning her sorrows in a pint of ice cream.
Again I’m not the biggest Wonder Woman fan, but that’s kind of like taking the character and saying “you know how she’s all Feminist and strong? How about we make her more like a whiney b**ch?” Seriously they wrote this chick like a needier, b**chier Betty and Veronica.
Any dumbass with at least a 1st grade diploma could tell you Wonder Woman is the exact opposite of how they wrote her. She’s not gonna cry over a guy she used to date getting married (This broad didn’t even cry over Batman!!! That takes cahones!). She wouldn’t give two flying f**ks if the boobs on her new doll were too small (shed probably kill a b**ch if they made em look too big). And she certainly isn’t going to take out her woes on a box of rocky road ice cream, more like on the asses of a rapist, or some mugger.
Wonder Woman’s supposed to be more like a female Superman, with batman tendencies. Not like a female Twilight character (I’m looking at you Edward) with self-esteem issues.
I’ll give the show a chance, after all its just a first draft and its likely going to go through a lot of changes. So I’ll be there premiere night on NBC, and hopefully they can turn me around.
But hey I’m just passing time until one of the studio heads realizes what they really need is a Booster Gold live action TV show. So I’m not sweating anything unless they f**k that up. God I hope they don’t f**k that up……..well I gotta go, I gotta start a petition for a Booster Gold TV series. Seeya!